A cuddle puddle demonstration in the City News newsroom
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Cuddle Communities are taking on the ‘touch deprivation epidemic’, according to founder Seth Newman, by offering space to explore touch, understand consent, and make meaningful connections.
What is a cuddle community?
A cuddle community, is a social space for people to explore consensual, platonic touch. Cuddle communities exist all over the world, and they claim to combat loneliness and isolation.
In London, a cuddle community from URUBU School of Transformational Arts is thriving. Founder Seth Newman and co-facilitator Diana Upite are the brains behind events for affection-starved Londoners.
Their cuddle community, called ‘The MUSH Tribe’, is ‘a values-oriented, agreements-based, touch-positive community’ named after the Mush tribe in Thailand. The group meets weekly on Monday evenings in Islington, and it’s so popular that Newman says there is a waitlist for interested participants.
To enter into the community, participants must go through a ‘Welcome MUSH’, which involves a structured ‘cuddle puddle’ and a touch-positive consent workshop. A cuddle puddle is where participants lay down with their heads on each other’s bodies and offer to stroke others heads, arms and non-sexual body parts.
URUBU set out criteria for those interested, which includes ‘craving community connection’, and ‘[missing] the feeling of belonging to a collaborative in-person community.’
‘A touch deprived City’
The Campaign to End Loneliness found that Londoners were more likely than others in the UK to be affected by severe forms of loneliness. 700,000 of them feel lonely ‘most’ or ‘all of the time’. The study says the pandemic is very likely to have exacerbated this.
Newman told City News,
“The MUSH is all about touch deprivation, and London is a touch deprived City. We aim to quieten a longing for that connection that isn’t sexual. Cuddling is foreplay for most people; but I thought, what if we decoupled the idea of cuddling and sex? It’s quite a lovely thing in itself.”
“We don’t get a lot of Oxytocin as adults, but when you receive it, you feel really good afterwards; you literally get a high. The reason why we do it on a Monday is that Oxytocin is a massive stress buster, and it really sets you up for the week.”
Sometimes there can be sadness coming through – in almost every Cuddle Puddle I run there have been tears. But they are usually tears of gratitude.
Seth Newman, Founder of the MUSH Tribe
City News spoke to an anonymous Cuddle Community member, who spoke about their experience.
“The meetings in London help me feel loved. After breaking up with my long-term partner, I wasn’t getting any physical touch and I only realised that after I came here with a friend and I left feeling totally whole.”
It’s a bit embarrassing, but the people here make you feel so human. London is a huge city and I don’t have many friends yet, so the weekly meetings are great.
Anonymous Cuddle Community member
Kristiina, from CuddleProfessionals.com, has been working as a Professional Cuddler in Islington since 2018.
“A lot of stressed people in London are constantly in go-go mode. Cuddle therapy is a moment of tranquility, and I think that is why it is so popular here. In busy cities like London, we need to find different ways to find peace and quiet.”
“A lot of the time, the body is neglected in therapy. People hold a lot of tension, and when you hold someone their body starts to de-armour.”
Kristiina told City News that she sees at least one client a day, sometimes up to eight to nine per week. All kinds of ages see her, ranging from people in their 20s to those in their 60s and 70s.
More than a cuddle?
Cuddle Communities in London also emphasise teaching consent, that may even help cuddlers in other elements of their lives.
Newman says, “One of the main structures we start with at MUSH is boundary work and consent workshops, around saying no and saying yes. Also around hearing no.”
“We also teach how to attune to another so that we are not just relying on verbal consent. Even if your mouth is saying yes, sometimes your body says no. If that happens, we teach our participants to say “Thank you, but I’m going to go cuddle someone else.”’
He tells City News that there are real-world benefits to his work.
“People end up in intimate relationships and end up not getting what they want. The MUSH teaches that there are skills one can learn around honouring your body first.”
I like the optionality of it – for me, if I can opt out of something anytime freely, I am happy to try and can enjoy it even more. And oftentimes I do leave early, and I still get to enjoy connecting. It helps me learn my own needs.
Quintana, Cuddle Community Member
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HeadlineThe Cuddle Communities taking on the ‘touch deprivation epidemic’
Short HeadlineCuddle communities taking on the 'touch deprivation epidemic'
StandfirstMore and more people in London are paying for weekly cuddle sessions that provide a 'non-sexual touch community'.
Cuddle Communities are taking on the ‘touch deprivation epidemic’, according to founder Seth Newman, by offering space to explore touch, understand consent, and make meaningful connections.
What is a cuddle community?
A cuddle community, is a social space for people to explore consensual, platonic touch. Cuddle communities exist all over the world, and they claim to combat loneliness and isolation.
In London, a cuddle community from URUBU School of Transformational Arts is thriving. Founder Seth Newman and co-facilitator Diana Upite are the brains behind events for affection-starved Londoners.
Their cuddle community, called ‘The MUSH Tribe’, is ‘a values-oriented, agreements-based, touch-positive community’ named after the Mush tribe in Thailand. The group meets weekly on Monday evenings in Islington, and it’s so popular that Newman says there is a waitlist for interested participants.
To enter into the community, participants must go through a ‘Welcome MUSH’, which involves a structured ‘cuddle puddle’ and a touch-positive consent workshop. A cuddle puddle is where participants lay down with their heads on each other’s bodies and offer to stroke others heads, arms and non-sexual body parts.
URUBU set out criteria for those interested, which includes ‘craving community connection’, and ‘[missing] the feeling of belonging to a collaborative in-person community.’
‘A touch deprived City’
The Campaign to End Loneliness found that Londoners were more likely than others in the UK to be affected by severe forms of loneliness. 700,000 of them feel lonely ‘most’ or ‘all of the time’. The study says the pandemic is very likely to have exacerbated this.
Newman told City News,
“The MUSH is all about touch deprivation, and London is a touch deprived City. We aim to quieten a longing for that connection that isn’t sexual. Cuddling is foreplay for most people; but I thought, what if we decoupled the idea of cuddling and sex? It’s quite a lovely thing in itself.”
“We don’t get a lot of Oxytocin as adults, but when you receive it, you feel really good afterwards; you literally get a high. The reason why we do it on a Monday is that Oxytocin is a massive stress buster, and it really sets you up for the week.”
Sometimes there can be sadness coming through – in almost every Cuddle Puddle I run there have been tears. But they are usually tears of gratitude.
Seth Newman, Founder of the MUSH Tribe
City News spoke to an anonymous Cuddle Community member, who spoke about their experience.
“The meetings in London help me feel loved. After breaking up with my long-term partner, I wasn’t getting any physical touch and I only realised that after I came here with a friend and I left feeling totally whole.”
It’s a bit embarrassing, but the people here make you feel so human. London is a huge city and I don’t have many friends yet, so the weekly meetings are great.
Anonymous Cuddle Community member
Kristiina, from CuddleProfessionals.com, has been working as a Professional Cuddler in Islington since 2018.
“A lot of stressed people in London are constantly in go-go mode. Cuddle therapy is a moment of tranquility, and I think that is why it is so popular here. In busy cities like London, we need to find different ways to find peace and quiet.”
“A lot of the time, the body is neglected in therapy. People hold a lot of tension, and when you hold someone their body starts to de-armour.”
Kristiina told City News that she sees at least one client a day, sometimes up to eight to nine per week. All kinds of ages see her, ranging from people in their 20s to those in their 60s and 70s.
More than a cuddle?
Cuddle Communities in London also emphasise teaching consent, that may even help cuddlers in other elements of their lives.
Newman says, “One of the main structures we start with at MUSH is boundary work and consent workshops, around saying no and saying yes. Also around hearing no.”
“We also teach how to attune to another so that we are not just relying on verbal consent. Even if your mouth is saying yes, sometimes your body says no. If that happens, we teach our participants to say “Thank you, but I’m going to go cuddle someone else.”’
He tells City News that there are real-world benefits to his work.
“People end up in intimate relationships and end up not getting what they want. The MUSH teaches that there are skills one can learn around honouring your body first.”
I like the optionality of it – for me, if I can opt out of something anytime freely, I am happy to try and can enjoy it even more. And oftentimes I do leave early, and I still get to enjoy connecting. It helps me learn my own needs.
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